Anna
M. Jones passed away in her sleep on June 22, 2011, Kenneth, the fifth
of Anna and Joe's seven children, delivered this eulogy for Anna upon
her burial at Calverton Cemetery in New York on June 25, 2011.
Mom
(Eulogy)
As you all know, I am one of seven brothers and sisters. And, like all
siblings, there were competitions: who was the smartest, the nicest, the
fastest, the coolest, the best looking, and - most importantly - who was
Mommy's favorite? Each one of us had our reasons for why we felt we were
mom's favorite, and I of course thought myself to be the favorite.
Everyone
else had plenty of counter-reasons as to why I surely could not be the
favorite.
My
older brothers Robert and Joseph would like to point to that fateful night
where they tricked me into plugging the heater into the faulty electrical
outlet. Being a naive and young kid, I did so because that was the condition
they had set to allow me to hang with them to watch "Combat" on the television.
Needless to say, the jolt of electricity I was hit with practically threw
me across the room. Mom's biggest concern at the time was why all of the
lights in the house were flickering. But, to me, that was a minor blip
on the radar. I was still the favorite.
My
sister Helen would contest this, and she would probably bring up the infamous
"Hedge-Trimming Party" she held at the old house in Jamesport. Late in
the day as I was trimming the hedges on a scaffold six feet up in the
air, I made a careless error and screwed up in the most "Ken-Jones-way"
possible - I ended up accidentally hedge-clipping the electrical wire
that powered the very hedge-clippers that I was using, sending me rocketing
off the scaffold and down onto the ground. When I told Mom about what
happened, she stated, and I quote, "Oh my Gosh, you could have set the
bushes on fire." Yes, mom was grateful that day because the hedges were
not aflame and she did not have to call 911. The fact that my hair was
smoking and I could have died, not a problem That would not deter me.
I was still the favorite.
Many
of us might recall how my youngest sister Joanne would get absolutely
livid when mom would insult her, using the phrase, "You're just like your
brother, Kenneth." Yes, to Joanne, there was simply nothing worse than
in this world than being compared to me.
All
of these things may be examples - and good examples, at that - of why
I may have not been Mom's favorite. But now, as I stand before you this
morning delivering the eulogy, I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that
I truly am Mom's favorite, once and for all.
But
enough of that. Today is a day in which we honor Mom and collect our fondest
memories of her to share with one another.
Many
of us recall how Mom was an absolutely fantastic baker - and that was
true. Who could forget her delicious Oatmeal Raisin Cookies she made especially
for me and her Apple Squares, which were Eugene's favorite. Of course,
we all just as easily remember how poor of a cook mom was. The saying
always was, "Dinner is ready when the smoke detector went off the third
time"
Mom
would recall later to me how she regretted not disciplining her kids the
right way. Mom was a very stern woman, and I can recall nights where discipline
consisted of shoes being thrown at me. If this was mom's idea of "poor
discipline", I shudder to wonder what the right course of action should
have been.
OCD
is a common problem amongst many of us, and we can all directly point
to Mom for that one. She would only shop at Macy's, Alfred Dunner Department,
and it better be 'on sale'. She had to have an open napkin on her placemat
at meal time. She had to have a paper cup full of milk for breakfast.
Her tissues needed to be folded in exactly the right way.
One
thing we all can agree upon was that she was an incredibly generous person
to all. She spent countless days with Aunt Pat, in Valley Stream, Jamesport
and in Raleigh, always reaching out, and never tiring of her company -
even if some of us did sometimes.
Mom's
obsession with cards was unwavering. Incessantly, she would ask, "When
is the next time we are playing cards?" or "Do we have enough people to
play cards?" Her cards obsession coupled with her long-standing job as
a window operator for the OTB earned her the nickname, "The Bookie Lady"
in our house. At various times, mom was also known as the Hat Lady, Chip
Lady, and even the Bag Lady because of her propensity to store things
in little Ziploc bags.
But
always, mom was known as a lady. As her hearing declined later in life,
phone calls with Mom became less routine and more of a "Mad Gab" adventure.
My throat would oftentimes be sore after one of our calls, and on one
occasion when I phoned her from a hotel, the man next door banged on the
wall to turn it down.
Those
are just some of the hundreds and hundreds of memories I will have of
Mom. That was the best thing about her: she was multi-faceted. Life with
mom would never be dull or boring.
She
had a great sense of humor, and yet she could be firm.
She
was a loving mother but also sought perfection from her children.
She
was always a lady but never shied away from hard work.
She
loved her children without bounds but would give them a smack when they
strayed.
She
was forgiving but would give hell to anyone who dared mistreat her children.
She
was a model of grace, dignity, and courage, handling the passing of her
youngest child, who we all knew was an angel on earth, and handled it
with the utmost strength and class.
She
had the courage to abide by the wishes of her loving husband of over 50
years and let him die with grace and dignity. The love and devotion mom
displayed to our Dad was special, and certainly one for us to emulate.
Ultimately,
Mom taught us how to live our lives with both honor and dignity..
If
I can pass one-tenth of what she taught me on to my children, I will consider
myself lucky.
If
my children can feel for me half as much as I feel for her, I will consider
myself successful beyond my wildest dreams.
I
will miss her and love her, always and forever.
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